Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
