I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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