Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
