i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize