i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
