Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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