I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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