she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
