They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
