lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
