One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
