i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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