I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize