Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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