do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
