Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
