How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
