I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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