my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
