I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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