So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Shame is for Republicans.
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