I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
