If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
