Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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