Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
