do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We just shotgunned beers for America
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
