help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
