What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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