if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
