I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize