my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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