Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
