fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
