He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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