...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
