I'm really into asian looking animals
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
