brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
