I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
