wanna go halves on a baby?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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