I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
