Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
