i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
