So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
