I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
