Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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