Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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