Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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