How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
