Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
