Apparently you make a good broom.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize