LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
