if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
