dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
