it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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