I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
