I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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