it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
