i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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