AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it because I queefed?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
