were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
