big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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