suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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