tell your sister to shave her snatch
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
