I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
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