Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
they call him Oral-B. enough said
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
