You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
