i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize