Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
